Friday, 5 October 2012

Gran Canaria: XIII

A funny thing happened to me last night. Whose catchphrase was that? Max Bygraves? I had had a satisfactory meal at an Italian brasserie, Mamma Mia's, last night.

There was a karaoke bar across the square so, ever willing to exercise the old vocal chords, I paid them a visit.

I was perusing the song-book when a woman accosted me and enquired as to my name. She asked me if I was English.

This lady then proceeded to apprise me that her name was Audrey Hepburn and she hailed from Dundee. She was quite earnest. She asked me if a particular song featured in the book.

I had a look and indeed it was.

Subsequently she left me and returned to her partner outside.

Fifteen minutes later, Audrey came up to me again and asked if Pounds sterling were acceptable at the bar. Well, I informed Audrey that I had no idea; I paid in euros.

Later still, after I'd sung a song, Audrey offered me a drink. I politely declined, because I had enough liquor for the evening; though offered her a drink.

About half an hour later, Audrey passed me en route to the lavatory and practically ignored me. I was puzzled. Had she taken umbrage about something?

Back at my apartment I pondered this incident. Suddenly it dawned on me: Audrey believed I was the compere! I expect she might have been slightly embarrassed at this misunderstanding of hers.


Anonymous said...

strangely ( or not )something very similar happened to me in Gran Canaria. I believe these women are to be avoided : no good can come of consorting with them. Did you not become suspicious when she said her name was that of a famous Hollywood star ?

Timothy Belmont said...

Ha ha! Well curiously Audrey looked me in eye and told me I wouldn't believe her! Oh, and she was with her male partner!

Anonymous said...

He might have introduced himself as Cary Grant or Kirk Douglas ! I suspect you have had a lucky escape from being entangled in something unwelcome...

Timothy Belmont said...

Ha ha! She was a woman; I'm sure of that as far as my human instincts tell!

Anonymous said...

I was once inveigled into buying a drink in Nice for a smooth-spoken and sophisticated Irish woman who said her name was ( I withhold it for security reasons )but I had a strange feeling all was not as it seemed : perhaps, of course, that goes for most such encounters ?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a straightforward old propositioning from a working girl in the company of her handler.