Flatulence

The Earl of Oxford, making a bow to Queen Elizabeth I, happened to let out a fart, about which he was so ashamed that he went into exile for seven years.

On his return, the Queen welcomed him home with the words, "My lord, we have forgot the fart."

John Aubrey in Brief Lives (c. 1693)

Ambition

Field-Marshal Montgomery was the foremost publicist of his age and, by no conceivable stretch of the imagination, short on ambition.

Winston Churchill said to King George VI: "I'm worried about Monty; I think he's after my job". And the King exclaimed: "Thank God. I thought he was after mine!"