The Empty Platform

Big Pete and self eventually arrived at the Dirty Duck Ale House in Holywood, County Down, this evening, having misread the "holiday" timetable which Northern Ireland Railways produce for the great benefit of their customers; speaking of which, their so-called "journey planner" really is hopeless. It simply doesn't function. Why don't they get a journey planner like that of the London Underground? Too expensive?

We got to the DD at about seven which was too late for grub, because, on New Year's Day, Chef obviously ceased to operate thereafter; so we had one round, got up and left.

The first port o' call in Holywood was an establishment which now calls itself the Platform Bar, formerly Carmichael's. It was empty, apart from a few staff. Nevertheless, we were hungry and "needs must", so we ventured in; I checked that meals were being served (they were); and we were shown to a table ( they were all available).

I ordered what I believed to be a Hendrick's gin, which was brought in one of those cheap tall glasses you see everywhere; and a whole baby bottle of tonic-water had been poured in already (how dare they presume that a patron wishes a whole bottle of tonic-water in their drink?).

For dinner I ordered the Stilton burger. This was very dull, because it was so lonely on a large plate with no garnish, salad, greenery or any vegetables at all. we were, however, brought another plate of chips. Big Pete had chicken breast with pepper sauce.

The second time we ordered drinks I was told that they had run out of gin except for Miller's gin at £3.65 a shot. I was brought the gin with no ice, lemon or lime for that matter. I had a slice of lemon from the previous round, though went up to the bar to ask for ice.

I cannot, therefore, recommend the Platform bar in Holywood to readers. We'll return to the DD next Saturday as usual.

We had to make a sprint for the last train towards Belfast at ten-sixteen, having heard it trundling along the track just as we'd emerged from the subway!