A Little Elbow Grease On The Shoes

I finally got round to polishing two pairs of black shoes today. This chore, like many others, requires a considerable psychological effort on my part; however, once everything is prepared and laid out it's easy and satisfying. They weren't particularly dirty; they just hadn't been treated with polish for a very long time.

I contacted Cheaney about the Nicky R shoes and, it transpires, they have been discontinued. All the better for that, in many ways. It does go some way to explaining the substantial discount offered in Bond Street, though. I paid another visit to a local retailer today in order to try on shoe sizes 6 and 6½. As a consequence of this I can recount that the fit of shoes is an inexact science! Some sixes were almost too roomy; others were fine. One pair of Barker moccasins, size 7, seemed to fit me. I think it would be wiser to wait.

I was at a BBC Invitation Concert last night, at the Assembly Building in Fisherwick Place, Belfast. It was all mostly Sibelius and the soloist was a well-known cellist, Raphael Wallfisch. Whilst the Assembly Building may well be suited to BBC Radio Three recordings, it has its deficiencies for the audience. Normally the Beeb uses the Ulster Hall, which is closed for renovations. I sat adjacent to the French horn players and one of them was pointed right at my ear! Still, it was a free concert and entertaining too. These productions must cost the BBC a lot of money - hiring the venue, paying the orchestra and soloist, sending out tickets to applicants etc. The Corporation is to be praised and commended for this.

The Ulster Orchestra, like many organizations and, indeed, individuals these days, has become lax in terms of evening wear. I am a traditionalist. I still believe that one ought to dress for the occasion. I don't care what others do. The Orchestra's code ought to be dinner jacket, white shirt and black tie for men; black evening dress for women - at informal concerts. Whoever started the habit of wearing black shirts? I imagine they can get away with wearing black shirts for a whole week without washing them.

At formal concerts - at concert halls, for instance - full evening dress should be worn: evening tailcoat, white dress shirt, white tie, white waistcoat. I am in no doubt that some may find this attire too un-egalitarian and old-fashioned. What's wrong with that? We see slovenly standards in all walks of life nowadays - snooker being a prime example. Banning black shirts and insisting upon black bow-ties would be a start.

Homage To The Monk Shoe

When I was in the metropolis last week I called in to several shoe shops. In Church's Jermyn Street branch a pair of fine, sturdy slip-on shoes by Cheaney caught the eye. They were in heavy mahogany grain burnished calf leather with Dainite soles. Their name is Nicky R. They were reduced from about £195 to £111.

The only snag was that they hadn't my size. I proceeded to try other branches - one in Bond Street - to no avail. They appear to be unobtainable in Belfast because I have contacted Reid's and Langford's about them. It's just possible that Bishop's in Coleraine, County Londonderry, may stock them. I know not.

I have been researching these shoes on the web and have come across an online retailer called Solely Shoes which stocks my size and is prepared to offer me about 18% discount and free delivery. Solely Shoes has a Returns Policy and it is possible to return the new shoes for another size.

The New Presidential Limousine

What a monstrous car! It certainly was not built as a thing of beauty. Of course, its main purpose is to convey the new President of the United States as securely and safely as possible; not to mention the state-of-the-art communications. I imagine the thing must drink fuel at a monstrous rate, too. It is probably tougher than an armoured tank; equally ugly.

Bentley Continental: The Footballer's Car

It's the car of choice for many premier-league footballers nowadays. They use it as a runabout; it takes them to their practice sessions. It is the Bentley Continental. If the lads want to show off to their peers and others, they'll take the Ferrari (just so long as it isn't written off en route). How else is a 23 year-old, getting wages of £150,000 a week expected to waste his hard-earned money?

Don't be totally put off by the Bentley marque though. They still manufacture fine cars, as the Germans always have done. Leave the Continental to footballers and their girl-friends; spend your money on an Arnage, Brooklands or Azure instead.

Better still, opt for a vintage, classic car; though, admittedly, these may not be ideally suited for every-day usage. I wholeheartedly commend the late Alan Clark's book about motoring, Backfire: A Passion For Cars And Motoring. Clark had so many cars that he almost literally ran out of space for them all! That's astounding, bearing in mind that Saltwood Castle and Estate, in Kent, is a sizeable pile. Clark had quite a collection of Bentleys, by the way. No footballers' cars, to the best of my knowledge.

Sprucefield Re-Visited

The last time I was at Marks and Spencer's store in Sprucefield, County Down, was on the 20th November, their 20% Day. I bought the Dowager two coats as gifts; then motored in to lovely Hillsborough for lunch.

The Dowager accompanied me today. It was felt that the coats were too neat a fit, so the intention was to exchange them both for the next size up. I'd already been to the Belfast store on about the 2nd January; however, they didn't stock the particular coats. So, if I wanted another size, I'd have to return to Sprucefield.

M&S Sprucefield was a lot quieter today. I enlisted the help of an assistant, who checked and proceeded to tell us that the coats in question were no longer stocked - sold out. What an utter waste of my time. All I could do was to obtain a refund; nor shall I get the 20% off the next time.

I am disappointed in Marks and Spencer; not least because they no longer sell winter overcoats - and we are in the middle of winter. Blast them. At least I have a refund, so I'll buy the Dowager an overcoat elsewhere.

The good news is that the Dowager was fitted out by a lingerie assistant for some underwear, saving me a deal of trouble and awkwardness. That I greatly appreciated.

Driving on into Hillsborough, County Down, we parked in the car-park of the Plough Inn; and the rain was pelting down by this stage. It was busy. We were seated at a small table near the fire-place. The Dowager had broccoli and blue cheese soup with wheaten bread; and I had the ploughman's lunch, which looked quite austere. However, this was deceptive because it included two types of cheese, an egg, pickled onion, paté, salad, sweet pickle and a plateful of fresh wheaten bread and butter. I wish that more Ulster pubs served ploughmen's lunches.

We drank mango and apple fruit juice; and the bill came to a reasonable £14.95. I cannot speak highly enough of the two lovely waitresses at the back lounge-bar.

We had a somewhat unpleasant journey home on the motorway, due to the atrocious conditions and massive juggernauts.

No Deal From Fitness First

For the past week I've been endeavouring to obtain a half-decent deal from the health club, Fitness First. So far they have offered a one-off payment of £348 for 15 months; or off-peak membership for £26.50 per month plus the rotten £30 "administration charge".

I wish them to waive the joining fee and offer me the off-peak rate - £26.50 with three months free; in other words, the first direct debit would be paid in April or May. Perhaps that is a bridge too far for them. I'm not the greatest negotiator in the world at any rate.

As a friend suggested to me, I may have been wiser to strike a deal with them before Christmas. Who knows?

To be frank, I thought they'd have been tripping over themselves to enlist me as a new member, given the current economic climate. Perhaps I am deluding myself.

I have tried to call their bluff by telling them that I may well re-join my present health club ( which is true). That unsubtle ploy hasn't, so far, produced a result.

I have emailed them, again, this morning. It's hard to know whether to sit back and wait for them to contact me again or do as I have done, by emailing them. One thing is for certain: Fitness First, and their sales staff, aren't that desperate to attract new members.

Oz And James: A Splendid Partnership

Here is a programme I really enjoy: Ozzie Clarke and James May are off, yet again, on their travels in a Grand Tourer; namely, a Rolls-Royce Corniche Convertible in British Racing Green; coupled, literally, with an ancient Sprite Alpine caravan. The duo are travelling the length and breadth of the British Isles, on this occasion supping various beers and ales.

Each episode lasts a mere half hour. I wish it was an hour long. I could watch a lot more of this pair.

Great viewing.