Thomas Tunnock Ltd

THE FOLLOWING WARRANT IS HEREBY ISSUED:

By Appointment to the Rt Hon the Earl of Belmont, 

Purveyors of Tea Cakes,

Thomas Tunnock Limited, Uddingston, Glasgow.

The Tunnock's Teacake, popular in the British Isles, comprises a small round shortbread biscuit covered with a dome of Italian meringue and a whipped egg white concoction similar to marshmallow.

This is then encased in a thin layer of milk or dark chocolate and wrapped in a red and silver foil paper for the more popular milk chocolate variety; or blue, black, and gold wrapping for the dark.

First issued March, 2010.

N.B. Editors: the alter ego, viz. Belmont, simply cannot have enough of these ethereal biccies (!)

Lindt Excellence 70%

BY APPOINTMENT TO THE RT HON THE EARL OF BELMONT, LINDT & SPRÜNGLI AG, SUPPLIERS OF CHOCOLATE PRODUCTS

I always used to shun dark chocolate.

Godmother always insisted on Black Magic chocolates, as she made clear on one occasion when I unwittingly brought her a box of milk choccies.

A decade ago, however, I purchased a bar of Lindt Excellence 70% (it was probably on offer), and haven't looked back since.

The flavour of the 70% is wonderful: Not bitter, nor too sweet; rich, almost like currants; with character and depth.

It's not bitter, unlike the 85% version which is a bit too earthy for me. The connoisseurs seem to agree, too. 

First published in March, 2013.

Mince & Onion Pie

The Initial Prototype Proprietary Belmont Minced Steak & Onion Pie.

Blast! There was insufficient pastry to cover the top; hence the piecemeal shape thereon.

There was not even a scrap of pastry for the Belmont cypher (!).

The proof, however, will be in the eating.

Onion Marmalade

I know. It's hard to believe that almost four and a half pounds of red onions, four garlic cloves, one bottle of red wine, a half bottle of red wine vinegar, the equivalent of four large glasses of port, and thyme, were all reduced to four jars of the celebrated Belmont Proprietary Caramelized Red Onion Marmalade.

If I might be so bold as to suggest that this concoction would complement venison and meat sausages most satisfactorily.

Whyte & Mackay

Amongst other sundry items, a bottle of Whyte & Mackay scotch whisky was procured at the supermarket for Belmont GHQ this morning.

My old school pal and sparring partner, Dangerfield, holds this blend in high esteem. We're speaking of blended scotch here, not single malts.

I am certainly no connoisseur of scotch whisky, though I enjoyed this stuff, neat or "on the rocks".


A GOOD fillet of smoked haddock was also purchased.

The celebrated Belmont kedgeree, reminiscent of the glorious Raj, will be prepared for fodder this evening.

The ingredients include pilau rice, smoked haddock, an egg, onion, currants, curry paste, butter, and parsley.

New Warrant

By Appointment to the Right Honourable the Earl of Belmont

FISHMONGER

ALAN COFFEY, PORTAVOGIE, COUNTY DOWN

His lordship's trusty bicycle is in the frame and Ivan is open for business as usual every Thursday at one end of Circular Road in east Belfast.

They always have a good range and variety of fresh fish and seafood and I particularly enjoy their battered County Down scampi.

The new Warrant takes immediate effect. I understand that Coffey's have a regular stall, Something Fishy, at St George's Market, Belfast.

The Big Boot!

Now there's a jolly good idea. Why didn't Timothy Belmont ever consider that? What with all the admirers and followers flocking to self like an industrial magnet.

Follow Prince Harry's example, I hear you clamour, and jump into the boot of a Jaguar car - or, for something more commodious, a Bentley - in order to elude the masses.

The former couple were reportedly driven away from private members club Beaufort House in the boot of a Jaguar at 4am.

Luggage was cleared to the front seat of the chauffeur driven car before security staff helped HRH and Miss Chelsy Davy into the boot, according to The Sun.

The Royal Flight

Ministers are considering a number of ways to help Britons stranded by flight restrictions imposed after volcanic ash from Iceland drifted over the UK.

Ideas to emerge from a Downing Street meeting include using Spain as a flight hub, requisitioning commercial vessels and a role for the Royal Navy.

His lordship was hoping that an aircraft of the Royal Flight might be scrambled for him. Anyone out there with any influence? I have a seat in the dress circle at the Grand Opera House, Belfast, on Thursday evening, so they had better take action instanter.

Delay: Day I

Well, I am still in the hotel. We were all ready to be collected for transfer to the airport this morning and good old Tommy Cook decided to let us remain at our hotel; so, effectively, I have at least one more day's holiday at the resort. Pity the poor souls still at home or in airports, whose holidays were supposed to commence a day or two ago. No amount of compensation, if they are entitled to it, would make up for a curtailed holiday. Better safe than sorry, though, as I said before.

I am obliged to check their notice-board at 19:00 this evening for an update. I'm in no rush to get home, at any rate. I have plenty of Euros in reserve and VISA cards.

The upshot of it all is that I paid a visit to the off-license - or whatever they call those shops over here - and purchased a half-bottle of Gordon's gin, which I will transfer in to miniatures for the flight etc. I'll have a few snifters shortly and, if there's any left, the chambermaid can have it. I am not paying Tommy £3.60 for a miniature. The half-bottle cost €6.25, so work it out.

I have already said cheerio to all the hotel staff and given them the benefit of Timothy Belmont's largesse and beneficence - you know, a few notes here and there, the odd bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk Caramel etc.

So I am quite happily settling in for another evening at the hotel.

A Porcine Warrant!

Whilst walking up the aisle the other day, in a stately fashion, the noble eye caught sight of bacon rashers - or Pancetta, as they were called - on the top shelf. Timothy Belmont likes a good, crispy, rasher or two from time to time.

These rashers were by royal appointment, no less, the company being Richard Woodall in Cumbria. They are called "Smoked Dry Cure British Pancetta".

I am in no doubt that Her Majesty prefers the regal rasher to emanate from Home Farm at Sandringham; and Prince Charles insists on Highgrove Duchy pork products. Still, the Warrant is from the Master of the Household; so, perhaps, Woodall's is used elsewhere in the royal household. I wonder what bacon is used at Hillsborough Castle when Royalty is staying?

We have put the Woodall's rashers in the freezer, at any rate. Has anyone tried them yet?

Seasonal Duties

I still await the delivery of my little Canon camera. I ordered it over a week ago from Amazon, the Internet mail order company. I expect that delays are inevitable during the busy Christmas period.

Thank goodness I managed to complete some essential Christmas shopping this morning; and the supermarket wasn't too crowded, either: A "ten-pack" of beer for the dust-bin men; a half-decent bottle of Bordeaux wine for a family dinner on Sunday; and some chocolates for persons in the service of the Belmont Household (ha!).

What a relief. The Christmas card lists have been completed, too. Being able to print labels and the ability of the computer to remember names and addresses is a great help.

The Antiquated Hour

Guess what Timothy Belmont will be doing at eight this evening? I'll naturally be seated comfortably on the noble pew (No, not the thunderbox!), tuned in to the new series of the BBC's Antiques Roadshow on BBC HD.

I'm looking forward to it. They start the ball rolling in Jersey on the Channel Islands. Fiona Bruce seems to have fulfilled Michael Aspel's role both seamlessly and effortlessly.

Darrell Lea Liquorice

Lord Belmont is pleased to make the following announcement:-


By Appointment to the Right Honourable the Earl of Belmont,

Suppliers of Soft-Eating Original Liquorice,

Darrell Lea Limited, New South Wales, Australia

By Appointment

I have added a new category, or label, to my blog: By Appointment To The Right Honourable The Earl Of Belmont.

The warrants may be approved or removed at any time.

I'll start the proverbial ball rolling by the first Entry: Wilkin Tomato Sauce, purveyors of tomato sauce to the Right Honourable the Earl of Belmont.

A week ago I decided to try Heinz tomato ketchup, highly rated by many. Frankly, I was disappointed. I am no connoisseur of ketchups; however, I do know what I like.

Wilkin ketchup has a richer taste; is thicker and less viscous than Heinz; and it has more substance to it as well. I shall retain the Heinz ketchup in the fridge for culinary purposes.

I am aware that there are many other ketchups on the market, so I welcome nominations.

Lord Belmont's Development

It may - or may not - have been noticed that I have been endeavouring to make some gradual and minor improvements to LBNI. I am happy with its fundamental layout; I do not believe in altering something unless there is a particularly good reason! So the ethos shan't change.

I have added a Contact Me section. There is now a Followers section, too. They are on the left-hand side of my blog. It seems fair that, if anyone seeks to visit LBNI occasionally - or even regularly - they might wish to consider adding themselves to the list!

LBNI seems to be increasing its number of visitors; I am in no doubt that many stumble across his lordship accidentally when searching about a particular subject. My feet and shins ought to be constantly aching. At any rate, visits this month are currently 3,071; that's about 162 a day.

I am open to suggestions as to how the format of LBNI could be enhanced. I read other blogs and I have no idea how they operate some of their features!

The Earldom Has A New Chip Shop

As Earl of Belmont, Viscount Sydenham and Baron Ballymisert I feel it incumbent upon me to inform readers that my domain has a brand new fish and chip emporium; namely, the legendary For Cod & Ulster. That is correct; that's its name. It opened yesterday, that's Monday the 9th February, 2009. At lunchtime today, I noticed about two dozen Ashfield schoolchildren queueing outside.

The proprietor has another branch at Albertbridge Road; this one is at 301, Holywood Road. Forty years ago, the premises operated as a pharmacy (McCollum's). For Cod & Ulster is now wedged between a hairdresser at the corner, and a Chinese takeaway at the other side. The Boulevard newsagency is at the end of the block.

I wish For Cod & Ulster well. They shall be aware that their primary rival is John Dory's chip shop, which is further up the road. In his lordship's experience, John Dory's is very good and will be hard to beat. Nevertheless, I hope they are of, at least, an equal standard; or even surpass Dory's if that is possible.

I might give 'em a go on Saturday evening. Watch this space. By the way, if anyone has eaten there, do send a comment.