His Lordship Taking The Hump

I managed a whirlwind tour of several stores in east Belfast this morning, in an effort to conclude the bulk of the Christmas shopping. Although the turkey is already stuffed, I have a can of chestnut purée to use up; so I'll make some more home-made stuffing. I bought a lemon and some parsley today, as well.

I spotted a favourite bottle of plonk on offer too: Howcroft Estate Limestone Coast 2005 cabernet/merlot, reduced from £7.99 to £3.99. I snapped up six bottles and got an extra 5% discount.

Motoring happily on to Marks and Spencers' food store at Ballyhackamore, I stocked up on some cooked cocktail sausages and mini sausage rolls for the freezer.

I drove up Earlswood Road and forgot about the series of ghastly humps obstructing my smooth passage along the road. The two-seater has firm suspension, so I slowed right down to 15-20 mph. These humps on our roads are a confounded nuisance; especially for those of us who are largely law-abiding and content to motor along urban roads at 25-30mph at any rate.

The Authorities would serve us all better if they confiscated the jalopies of the imbeciles and cretins who speed on such roads; then, unceremoniously, lock them all up in a boot-camp for a month or two, well away from Society's sight. Sending these morons on National Service for a year would alleviate the pressure on our Armed Services, quite possibly.